Family IT Guy Podcast

When you save something to the cloud, it does not float in the sky. It goes to a real building full of computers that a company owns, and that company can usually read what is stored there.Ben spent years designing and running data centers, including one for the F-18 fighter jet program, so he can show you what "the cloud" actually is: warehouses full of servers in real cities, keeping copies of your photos, messages, and files. You cannot realistically quit the cloud. What you can control is whether the companies holding your data can read it. That comes down to encryption, which means scrambling your files so only a private key can unlock them, and who holds that key. If you hold it, only you can read your files. If a company holds it, they can too.Ben shares the services he pays for and uses himself for this: Proton for email, files, photos, and passwords, and Signal for private messages and calls. Start by moving one thing you care about to a service that hands you the key.Proton: https://proton.meSignal: https://signal.orgChapters:0:00 Where your data really goes0:40 What the cloud actually is1:12 Watch the data leave a computer2:52 How to keep private things private3:32 Why this matters for our kidsWatch the whole series, How the Internet Really Works: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc3jDQHQdQekMore in this series:It Started With Bacon (How Free Apps Make Money): https://youtu.be/FQbVOHcQRMEThe Cloud Is Someone Else's Computer: https://youtu.be/NsYAPKyJhXgShould You Accept or Reject Cookies?: https://youtu.be/EEt33DXh--gYou're the Product, Not the Customer: https://youtu.be/UWBA-VcLOGEFamily IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication, and the ways AI is making both worse. Ben Gillenwater spent 30 years in cybersecurity, and he teaches this as a parent in the same trenches you are.iPhone Parental Controls Masterclass: https://www.familyitguy.com/iphone-masterclassWebsite and free guides: https://www.familyitguy.comListen to the Family IT Guy Podcast:Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8g#parenting #onlinesafety #digitalparenting #kidsonline #cybersecurity #familyitguy

Almost everything online is free because the internet is a marketing engine, and the fuel it runs on is your family's data, time, and attention.In the 1920s a bacon company hired a man named Edward Bernays to sell more bacon. He got physicians to endorse a big breakfast, newspapers ran their opinions as news, and bacon and eggs became "the American breakfast." That method, borrow a trusted voice, hide who is paying, and make the message look like advice, built the modern advertising industry. For most of the last century it had two limits: advertisers could not see exactly who got their message, and they could not change it per person. The internet removed both. Every tap, every pause while you scroll, every video you half watch is measured, and the message adjusts to you in real time.Ben explains why that makes the internet dangerous for kids. The real problem is not screen time, it is marketing exposure time. Youth suicide is now the second leading cause of death among young people, and for kids aged 10 to 14 the rate tripled between 2007 and 2018. He gives you one question to ask about anything your kids use for free: who is paying for this, and what are they buying? If the answer is advertisers buying attention, that is a red flag, and a lot of the most popular apps fall into that category. Tell your kids the bacon story. Once a kid can spot the hidden sponsor in their breakfast, they start spotting it everywhere.Chapters:0:00 The bacon story1:07 The method behind modern advertising1:42 How the internet changed the game3:11 Why this is dangerous for kids5:18 What you can doSources:Meta's advertising revenue, about 98% of its total: https://www.sec.gov/Archives/edgar/data/1326801/000162828026003942/meta-20251231.htmEdward Bernays and the Beech-Nut bacon campaign: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_BernaysYouth suicide statistics, CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/products/databriefs/db471.htmWatch the whole series, How the Internet Really Works: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc3jDQHQdQekMore in this series:It Started With Bacon (How Free Apps Make Money): https://youtu.be/FQbVOHcQRMEThe Cloud Is Someone Else's Computer: https://youtu.be/NsYAPKyJhXgShould You Accept or Reject Cookies?: https://youtu.be/EEt33DXh--gYou're the Product, Not the Customer: https://youtu.be/UWBA-VcLOGEFamily IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication, and the ways AI is making both worse. Ben Gillenwater spent 30 years in cybersecurity, and he teaches this as a parent in the same trenches you are.iPhone Parental Controls Masterclass: https://www.familyitguy.com/iphone-masterclassWebsite and free guides: https://www.familyitguy.comListen to the Family IT Guy Podcast:Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8g#parenting #onlinesafety #digitalparenting #kidsonline #cybersecurity #familyitguy

Titania Jordan is the Chief Parenting Officer at Bark. She sat down with Ben Gillenwater to walk through what she's seeing in how kids actually use their phones, what scares her most, and what you can do about it without being technical.They get into a lot: why the free apps your kid uses aren't really free, why your kid is already using AI and who should be teaching them, the slang and rating systems kids use on each other that most parents have never heard of, and the red flags that an online "friend" is really a predator. They also dig into the parts of Big Tech's parental controls that don't actually work, what good monitoring really does, and one simple thing any parent can do today.A couple of numbers from the conversation: suicide is the second leading cause of death for kids 10 to 14 in the US, behind accidents, according to the CDC. Titania also shares two of Bark's own numbers: about 80% of the time, parents had no idea their kid was struggling until an alert flagged it, and Bark now helps protect around 7.5 million kids.Ben reviewed the Bark Phone earlier this year, and references that review here: https://www.familyitguy.com/bark-phone-review.htmlThe iPhone Parental Controls Masterclass walks you through locking down your kid's iPhone, every setting, step by step: https://courses.familyitguy.com/iphoneIf you ever find out a child is being targeted or exploited online, you can report it to the NCMEC CyberTipline at https://report.cybertip.org/. If you or someone you love is struggling, the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is there any time at https://988lifeline.org/.Chapters:0:00 Intro: Titania Jordan, Chief Parenting Officer of Bark0:52 How she became a Chief Parenting Officer5:34 Free isn't free: how platforms monetize your time6:48 An MBA for kids: teaching them the business model7:25 Dopamine, frame rate, and overstimulated kids15:08 Nobody is teaching your kid AI, except you17:40 Where AI belongs for kids, and where it doesn't23:16 Why Bark exists: 80% of parents had no idea28:52 Big Tech's parental controls are theater (Apple, TikTok)33:21 Apple walked back catching child abuse images34:45 There's no such thing as a friend in a corporation36:41 Nobody at Bark reads your kid's texts: how it works41:05 You're not authoritarian, you're being a parent42:30 Privacy belongs to your child; you're the steward47:46 Decoding what your kids are really saying (the slang)55:15 The phone that won't let a kid take a nude58:00 The predator playbook: grooming red flags1:00:41 "Disappearing" messages don't disappear (Snap, screenshots)1:04:06 No company is your friend, but some still do good1:06:23 Judge a company by how it measures success1:09:19 Roblox: who are you actually funding?1:10:37 The one free thing every parent can do1:12:28 Close: protecting millions of kidsFamily IT Guy helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication, and the ways AI is making both worse. Ben Gillenwater spent 30 years in cybersecurity, and he teaches this as a parent in the same trenches you are.Website and free guides: https://www.familyitguy.comGuest: Titania Jordan, Chief Parenting Officer of Bark.#parenting #onlinesafety #digitalparenting #kidsonline #cybersecurity #familyitguy

How do you talk to your kids about pornography before the internet does it for them? Chris McKenna founded Protect Young Eyes to help parents answer exactly that, and his approach surprises most people: the fix is not a better filter. It is a braver and more frequent conversation.Most of us are scared of this talk, so we put it off, and putting it off is the one move that leaves a kid alone with whatever they find. Chris makes the case for the opposite. Make the conversation normal. Start early, keep it casual, have it often, so your kid runs to you when something feels wrong instead of hiding it. Shine light on the topic.We get into the number that stopped me cold. In every child-on-child case the counselors Chris interviewed had handled that year, the child who had harmed another had been exposed to pornography early in childhood. We talk about why a young brain has no "file" for what it is seeing, then we get practical: ten conversations before age 10, the porn talk you can have in the car without ever saying the word "porn", and how to make yourself the person your kid comes to.MORE FROM CHRIS McKENNAOrder his book, 5 Habits of the Tech-Ready Family (out June 16 2026): https://www.techreadyfamily.comProtect Young Eyes: https://protectyoungeyes.comDigital parenting coaching, The Table: https://protectyoungeyes.com/the-tableThe Ultimate Guide to Understanding Routers: https://www.protectyoungeyes.com/devices/the-ultimate-guide-to-understanding-routersCHAPTERS0:00 Welcome1:05 How Chris got into this10:39 The realities of porn today20:04 Young brains can't process it21:28 The 100% statistic24:00 Make Porn the Norm (the reframe)28:14 10 before 1030:28 Where kids really see it35:11 How to actually have the talk43:42 Porn isn't real sex57:31 The one fix at AppleSOURCESThe 100% figure is from Chris McKenna's interviews with counselors at Children's Assessment Centers, which work with both the child who was harmed and the child who caused harm. More on his research at https://protectyoungeyes.comABOUT CHRIS McKENNAChris is the founder of Protect Young Eyes and president of The Better Tech Project. He testified before the U.S. Senate in 2019, co-authored the Child Device Protection Bill that is now law in Utah and Alabama, and is featured in the documentary Childhood 2.0. Publishers Weekly calls his new book "comprehensive," "illuminating," and "an informative resource for parents eager to establish digital safety nets for their children."ABOUT FAMILY IT GUYBen Gillenwater is a cybersecurity expert and dad who helps parents protect their kids from the two biggest digital dangers: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication.#digitalparenting #onlinesafety #pornography #raisingkids #parentingtips #protectyoungeyes #screentime #familyitguy

For years, giving a child their first phone meant starting with a device designed for adults and then trying to lock it down afterward.Apple just announced a major shift.With iOS 27, kids' devices can start as a blank slate—no wide-open access, no endless game of chasing settings and blocking apps after the fact. Parents decide what gets added and when.This is how child-safe technology should work: parental authority first, access second.It's also a reminder that protecting kids online doesn't require invasive age-verification systems or sacrificing privacy. Good design can solve a lot of problems before lawmakers try to.Apple deserves credit for raising the bar on both privacy and parental controls.Would you feel more comfortable giving your child a phone if it started locked down by default?#Apple #iOS27 #OnlineSafety #DigitalParenting #FamilyITGuy

Meta's new Instants feature has drawn comparisons to Snapchat for one simple reason: both are built around disappearing photos and messages.For parents, the important question isn't which app your child is using—it's whether they understand how these features actually work.Platforms market disappearing content as temporary, but "disappearing" doesn't mean private. Content can be screenshotted, screen-recorded, photographed with another device, shared, and in many cases retained by the platform itself. The technology may make content less visible, but it doesn't make it disappear from the internet.In this video, I look at why Meta is embracing a Snapchat-style feature despite ongoing concerns about youth safety online, what parents should know about supervision tools, and why digital literacy is a more effective long-term strategy than relying on app settings alone.The most valuable lesson we can teach kids is not which apps to fear, but how to think critically about privacy, permanence, and the business models behind the platforms they use every day.I'm Ben, the Family IT Guy—a dad and cybersecurity expert with 30 years of experience helping families navigate social media, smartphones, AI, parental controls, and online safety.Subscribe for practical advice on raising tech-smart kids in a digital world.

Age verification laws are spreading fast, and the "prove your age to use the internet" approach will make every family less safe, not more.Governments across the US and around the world want everyone to prove their identity before going online. In places like California, that's moving down to the operating-system level, so you'd have to verify who you are just to use your own computer. It sounds like a reasonable way to protect kids. It isn't.To check your age online, a company has to collect your ID, verify it, store it, and tie it to what you do. Once that data exists, it lives under whatever the rules happen to be at any given moment, forever. History already showed us how that goes. In 1940 the US Census promised confidentiality; two years later the government canceled that promise, handed over Japanese American families' names and addresses, and sent 120,000 people to internment camps. In 1998, COPPA (the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act) was meant to protect kids online, and instead it gave companies a reason to never build kid-safe products in the first place. So the real fix isn't more databases. It's skills. Parents who understand how the internet works can lead by example and pass that on to their kids. You can't uncollect data, which is exactly why the only real protection is to not collect it in the first place.Read the full Declaration of Principles on the protection of children, families, and freedom in the digital age:https://www.familyitguy.com/declaration-of-principlesCHAPTERS0:00 The age verification laws coming for everyone0:39 How online age checks work1:18 What we want for our kids (the Declaration)2:09 1940: a privacy promise broken (the Census)3:38 1998: how COPPA backfired5:31 What actually changes behavior6:09 The real fix: skills, not surveillance6:58 You can't uncollect data7:16 The one question to always ask7:37 Your turnSOURCES AND FURTHER READING1940 Census and Japanese internment:- Scientific American, confirmed Census disclosure: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/confirmed-the-us-census-b/- National Archives, Japanese-American Incarceration: https://www.archives.gov/education/lessons/japanese-relocation- The Second War Powers Act (1942), which suspended census confidentiality: https://www.govinfo.gov/app/details/STATUTE-56/STATUTE-56-Pg176COPPA:- FTC, Children's Online Privacy Protection Rule (COPPA): https://www.ftc.gov/legal-library/browse/rules/childrens-online-privacy-protection-rule-coppa- FTC, Google/YouTube $170M COPPA settlement: https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2019/09/google-youtube-will-pay-record-170-million-alleged-violations-childrens-privacy-lawWhat actually reduced youth smoking:- CDC, adult cigarette smoking data (42% to 11%): https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/php/data-statistics/adult-data-cigarettes/index.html- Levy et al. (Georgetown), SimSmoke policy analysis: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4801780/- Farrelly et al., "truth" campaign dose-response: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC1449196/LISTEN TO THE FAMILY IT GUY PODCASTYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLe_GB8g05M6PyRj4OLhD1LF1x_6vEK-LcApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/family-it-guy-podcast/id1831912044Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/72yZUVsOqdDk7en5FS9U8gABOUTI'm Ben, the Family IT Guy. I help parents handle the two biggest digital dangers facing their kids: addictive algorithms and anonymous communication (and the ways AI is making both worse).Website: https://www.familyitguy.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/theFamilyITGuy/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/family_it_guy/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@family.it.guy#AgeVerification #OnlineSafety #DigitalParenting #KidsOnline #OnlinePrivacy

One of the most important skills parents can teach kids today is how to think critically about business models.Because if kids don’t understand how internet companies make money, they can’t fully understand what these platforms are designed to do.In this video, I break down:• Why “free” apps are never actually free• How social media companies really make money• Why attention is the product being sold• How addictive algorithms are designed• Why platforms optimize for “eyeball time”• How understanding incentives helps kids stay safer onlineCompanies like TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Google, and others are often framed as tech companies or social platforms. But in reality, most of them are advertising companies.Their business model depends on maximizing your attention so they can sell ads.That changes how we should think about screen time, social media, and digital parenting.If we want kids to navigate the internet safely, we need to help them understand what they’re actually engaging with.More resources:familyitguy.comChapters00:00 Why Understanding Business Models Matters00:25 What a Business Model Actually Is00:50 How Traditional Businesses Measure Success01:43 Why “Free” Internet Products Aren’t Free02:14 The Real Product Social Media Companies Sell02:54 How Addictive Algorithms Work03:28 Why You Are the Product03:52 Looking at SEC Reports04:43 Why Kids Need This SkillSubscribe for practical digital parenting advice grounded in cybersecurity and real-world experience.

If you're new here, welcome.My name is Ben Gillenwater, also known as The Family IT Guy. I’m a dad and a cybersecurity expert with 30 years of experience, and my mission is simple: help families keep kids safe online while raising healthy, capable humans in a digital world.In this video, I break down the two biggest online threats facing kids today:• Addictive algorithms• Anonymous online chatThese systems are not accidental. Social media platforms are intentionally designed to maximize attention, and anonymous messaging creates environments where predators, criminal networks, and dangerous influences can reach children at scale.But this video is not about fear.It’s about understanding what matters most and focusing on practical solutions that actually help families:• Education over panic• Skills over rules• Community over isolation• Leading by example as parentsI also share the free resources available through Family IT Guy, including:• Articles and conversation guides• My podcast with psychologists, detectives, and parenting experts• My “boring iPhone” setup guide for kids• The Being meditation app• The Family IT Guy communityThis is a complicated time for parents, but you do not have to figure it out alone.Resources:www.familyitguy.comChapters:00:00 Introduction00:20 Why This Work Matters00:40 The Two Core Problems01:14 How Addictive Algorithms Work01:35 Anonymous Chat and Online Predators02:04 Why This Matters for Every Family02:41 Skills vs Rules03:14 Leading by Example as Parents04:08 Hope for the Next Generation04:18 Free Resources for Families05:15 Questions From the CommunitySubscribe for practical guidance on parenting, technology, and online safety.

This video is dedicated to Avery, a 15-year-old boy who died after buying MDMA through Snapchat.Avery grew up with strong boundaries around technology. Waldorf education. Outdoor adventures. Shared screen time rules. Minimal exposure to social media. But once Snapchat entered the picture in high school, everything changed.Within a year, Avery bought drugs from a local dealer through the app. He took too much and died on December 19, 2024.I spoke with Avery’s dad, Aaron, who asked me to share this story so other families don’t experience the same loss.This is not an isolated case.According to the DEA, 76% of investigated youth drug-buying cases involved Snapchat. Internal company documents have also shown that dealers prefer disappearing-message platforms because they make detection harder.In this video, I break down:• Why Snapchat is different from what most parents think• How social media platforms enable dangerous behavior• Why “everyone else has it” is not a good reason• What actually helps protect kids online• Why removing social media often strengthens real friendships• Tools like the Bark Phone that can help parents monitor riskWatch my conversation with Mike McLeod here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJU9u68PNt8For more resources, visit:www.familyitguy.comSearch “Snapchat” on the site for additional articles and tools.Chapters:00:00 Avery’s Story01:11 Why Snapchat Is Different02:18 The DEA Investigation03:04 What Actually Protects Kids04:08 Are Snapchat Friendships Real?05:08 Why Boundaries Matter05:47 Tools That Can Help ParentsCheck out the @BarkTechnologies phone here: https://www.familyitguy.com/go/bark